Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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