After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize