but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize