I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
