We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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