all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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