Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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