my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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