i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
