they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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