What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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