Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
