pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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