We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
