oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize