Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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