Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
