If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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