the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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