3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
