We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
