Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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