I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize