that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
