After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
