I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she woke up with a sticky ear
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
