i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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