I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
