can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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