just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
