So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
