the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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