Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We're facebook friends in real life
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
