What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
