Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
