Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize