saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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