Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
