I think my vagina is haunted
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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