i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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