this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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