Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
