i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
