He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
