I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
