Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
