Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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