Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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