my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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