new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
how does that bad decision feel?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
