Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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