ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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