I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
