My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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