I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize