the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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