Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
