I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
id be glad to
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
