And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
