dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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