Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
