he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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