I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
