That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
