R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
