Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
