i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
